


The Decision

by Shade_Nightwalker



Category: due South
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:41:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25222588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shade_Nightwalker/pseuds/Shade_Nightwalker
Summary: RayK has made a decision and is trying to convince Fraser that it’s a good one.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7





	The Decision

**Author's Note:**

> It’s just a short scene which wouldn’t get out of my mind, until I wrote it down.  
> Again, many thanks to Avoca for proofreading.

Fraser and Ray Kowalski are walking down the hallway of the precinct. They have just closed an ugly case where a nice guy from a dating agency turned out to be nothing like prince charming, but the amateur-pimp from the neighborhood, looking for fresh meat to expand his business. Purely by coincidence, Fraser had met his newest target while waiting at the café around the corner. Of course, she developed a thing for him, and knowing Fraser it had been no question at all that the partners would help her out.

Now the bad guy is booked, looking forward to his meeting with the stringency of the law that would hopefully match him with a nice, nasty cell mate for the next couple of years.

Suddenly, Ray stretches out his hand, drops it on the Mountie’s shoulder and stops him. Both men turn and face each other.

“What is it, Ray?”

“I’ve made a decision, Fraser.”

“A decision?”

“Yeah, a decision that will improve my life - both of our lives if you agree with me. That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

“Very much so, but I think it depends...”

But the Mountie doesn’t get a chance to lecture today. The blond detective cuts him off. “You know this love thing?”

“This...?” Puzzlement takes charge of Fraser’s face. “L – love, Ray?”

“Yeah. Like, you know, you like somebody, want to spend your time with them, want to give your life to them...”

“Well, yes, Ray...”

“It’s a scam.”

“A scam?” The confusion on the Mountie’s face grows.

“Yeah! Like this Stella thing!”

“Stella?”

“Stella! My ex?!”

“Oh, _the_ Stella.”

“Exactly,” Ray raises his brows and nods. “I loved her from first sight, always knew I wanted to spend my life with her. She was the love of my life.”

“You don’t know that for sure, Ray.”

“Exactly!” Ray points his finger at the Mountie. “Because love is an illusion, a delusional state of mind!”

“Ray...” Fraser starts, but the blond cuts him off sharply.

“See, you give yourself up for that one person, all fire and burning - burning out until there’s nothing left of you but an empty shell; always trying and giving and trying, but they don’t care a shit about it. It’s never good. It’s never enough. They just walk over you and not even notice it. And you grow to accept it.”

“You can’t be serious, Ray.”

“Why not? It’s just like that, isn’t it?”

“But you can’t deny that ... that ... love ... has some ... very valuable advantages, too.”

“You mean that feeling good thing? All the highs, the ecstasy, the feeling of being part of something special, being invincible?”

Fraser nods confirmation, not interrupting the outpouring of Ray’s thoughts.

“But it’s not really there! It’s just in your head!” Ray starts pacing, speaking not only with his voice, but his hands, his eyes, his entire body. “You set your mind on a person you think is special. You want them to recognize you. See, what you really are, what you have to give.” He throws a quick glance towards his friend. “Well, let’s face it: they only circle around themselves. They don’t even see you. In their mind there’s an image of you, an image they made up. They don’t know who you are. They don’t know how you feel. And they don’t even care. But you go out of your way to please them, fit that picture that isn’t you, just to make them feel good; hoping they will wake up one day and _see_ , really see _you_. See what you are, see what you have to give. But that will never happen.”

Fraser doesn’t look happy at Ray’s notion. He clears his throat and starts cautiously, “maybe now would be a good time...” but his voice trails off.

“What?” Ray stops his pacing and fixes his bright blue eyes on his friend. His attitude is still restless, jittery, agitated.

“Nothing. Nothing, really. I – I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” Like so often the Mountie is all subdued and apologizing now. “Go on, Ray.”

The blond stares at him for a moment, waiting.

“Please,” Fraser offers.

Ray nods and continues. “Alright. Where the hell am I heading for?”

“Your decision...?”

“Yeah, right! I won’t fall for it again.”

“You won’t?”

“No! It’s a trap; a scam made up to catch and control you. All you’ll get out of it in the end is hurt and pain and feeling like shit. You’re asking yourself, why’d you do that and there’s ... there’s just no answer to it. Just – love. It’s really dumb if you look at it. And I’m out now!”

“You are?”

“Yeah, I am,” Ray states with utter conviction and full of pride. “From now on Ray Kowalski is no victim anymore. I’ll take my life in my own hands. No blues anymore, no sad songs, no longing. To hell with love. I’m done with it.”

Fraser just watches him silently; his face blank and unreadable, his eyes burning. Ray stops and looks at him, cocking his head.

“You don’t agree?”

“Agree?” Fraser shakes his head slowly. He doesn’t look like they’re in the same universe right now, rather like he’s surfacing from deep water or returning from a journey through time and space.

“Am I right?” Ray pushes on.

“Ray....” his friend starts, but trails off again.

“Yeah?”

There’s a pause in their conversation. All the world is silent, waiting with bated breath.

Fraser sighs and continues, “...of course. Of course, you’re right.”

“I knew it! You’re a good man, Frase - the best! I’m glad you’re with me. We’ll make a better life from now on,” Ray says, flashing his incredible, boyish smile and claps his friend’s back. “Alright, let’s call it quits for now. We’ve done enough for today. I’ll pick you up Monday at the consulate, okay?”

“Yes, Ray....”

Ray smiles at his partner again, turns around and leaves the place in long strides. There’s a little spring in his gait, like he is moving to a song only he can hear.

Fraser just stands and watches him – watches him walking away. His gorgeous, explosive, instinct driven, passionate and emotional partner - all heart, always in with nothing short of 100% but rather more - who just swore he wouldn’t trust his feelings anymore.

Fraser’s eyes follow him, take in his every move until he can’t see him anymore. Still he’s standing in the same place, his face showing not a hint of the turmoil inside of his mind. He lowers his eyes, drops his head slowly; stands there just breathing. Then he licks his lips, raises his head again, cracks his neck and follows his partner and friend...


End file.
